Don't listen to idiots signing e-petitions: Joseph Blurton vaguely elaborates.

Late last night I posted a light-hearted e-petition,

Don't listen to to idiots signing e-petitions,

mainly because I was bored, but partially because my woolly little liberal heart was angered by the stupidity and bastardishness of some of the other proposals. I'm a democrat, at least on paper, but I've never believed in the idea of direct, virtual democracy. Just what happens in the modern age of fascists, trolling, unicorns and lolcats? Either idiots calling for the abolition of everything fun, nice and (small-f) fluffy, or idiots like me calling for the abolition of other idiots.

Now the petition has been quoted on the gloriously witty tech-site, The Register, and other blaggers have been mentioning me by name via either disgust, faux academic analysis, amusement or misplaced reverence. Like me, these are all idiots. What we think really doesn't matter!

But if I can find it, there is a serious point to be made. In my discordant philosophy, I believe we need politicians to be leaders, and not just ostriches (see struthiocracy) who'll blindly follow the ill-informed will of the people. MPs should be so much more. They should be accomplished, knowledgeable people who do the governing so we don't have to. I'm an idiot, a lazy one at that; I can't be bothered to read Hansard or sit on the Select Committee on Statutory Instruments. But to some of the posters on HM Government's e-petition's website, using a statutory instrument sounds like the sort of thing you should be hanged for.

This all reminds me of the Democrabus in the BBC's brilliant Absolute Power. A gimmick dreamt up by PR people. "Come up with an idea and win the chance to hear us to talk about it for an hour!"



I'm not trying to be clever (I am, after all, an idiot who voted Lib Dem at the last election), but if we can't mock the system, then the system's worryingly wrong.

Message falters.

joeblurton*at*hotmail*dot*com.

Any Job, at Any Cost

The Young Persons' Guarantee, details of which were announced today, is quite possibly a good idea. Ensuring that young people aren't disadvantaged in the formative years of their careers because of the economic downturn is a noble ambition. However, I am always massively wary of these carrot and stick approaches. The BBC has reported that everyone under 25 out of work for over 1 year will be offered a job, which they will have to take, or else their benefits will be cut. I have to point out, in my objection to this, that it's not a policy that will effect me, as I will be too old by the time it is enacted.

Now, I'm unsure whether or not this will effect people on Income Support or the new Employment & Support Allowance. Since the BBC say it will apply to everyone I have to assume that it will. There are some very ill people supported by these schemes, and forcing them into work at the wrong moment could be disastrous. If indeed the Government intends to do this, it is an act of wanton barbarism. My sympathy also extends to those who actually have qualifications and ambition, who may be struggling to find the right job in the current climate, but who will have far better prospects when the economy recovers. Forcing them into the wrong job now could have dire consequences, both for their ability to escape it and find something else, and for their own morale.

There is a myth in politics, supported by papers representing the "hard-working public", that any job is better than no job. The jobs the Government will guarantee will most likely be low-paid, in atrocious conditions, with horrible people, and with little opportunities for self-betterment. I've had these sorts of jobs. They made me routinely run home in tears at the end of the day. I dread to think what this might to do the vulnerable young people dipping their toes in the real world for the first time.

As usual with employment issues, the mentality at work here is simply one of massaging figures. The Government believes that its function is to maximise national productivity. You can forgive it for labouring under this misapprehension, since its income directly correlates with GDP. But there are far more important things in the world than money. Learning, quality of life, love, happiness... most of these things will never be provided by any compulsory work scheme. Some politicians, in that golden age before the crash, talked about chasing Gross National Happiness instead. There's none of that now.

I had hoped that the recession would provide people with a chance to reconnect with their families, to take up courses, to explore life outside money-grubbing and Plasma TVs. But the Government will always stay true to its vampiric raison d'etre: to make the nation work very hard; to dangle the dazzling fruits of consumer goods and cheap credit before the nation's tired eyes; to tax the nation very hard; to make the nation miserable. This is what made the mess in the first place. And it will make another mess soon enough.

When will they learn? The system isn't just broken, it's officially bad for your health.